Motivation vs. Manipulation

When it comes to coaching and mentoring, there are times when people unfortunately make the mistake of confusing motivation with manipulation.

Most of the time the difference between the two are simple, but there are a few situations where there may be a grey area.  Wether you are the one coaching or the one being coached, consider the following points:

• Selfishness vs Selflessness.  This is the best metric to use when determining if the advice you are either giving or receiving is a tool of motivation or manipulation.  Just ask yourself if what you are doing will only help you or if it will help and benefit others around you.
• Short-term and Long-term.  When coaching, the advice and leadership given should be pointing someone in the direction that will help them in the short-term and long-term.
• Ethical and Moral Alignment.  Coaching and mentoring in the workplace is a great win-win situation.  When a company can pair a seasoned, experienced worker with an up-and-comer, it can produce great, long-term results.  It’s important to remember that any coaching or mentoring should not only be good for the company, but good for the person.  If a coach/mentor is leading someone to grow up the company ladder by using back-door deals and agreeing to do questionable projects, then not only the future of the company is in jeopardy, but so is the future of the one being mentored.

If you follow these three points, it will be clear to see if the advice you are giving (or receiving) falls under the angel or devil side of your shoulder.

If you are the one receiving coaching from a mentor and you see a pattern of manipulative leadership, run away…FAST.  Most likely the person is not confusing manipulation and positive motivation; they are purposely using manipulation for selfish, personal gain.

In other words, don’t become Evil Homer!